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“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.” – Charles Spurgeon

Anxiety? This is a post that a couple of years ago, I never thought I would be writing about because I didn’t think I would ever be dealing with anxiety or depression for that matter. So many people these days do not even realise that they are suffering from anxiety as they would always put it down to other things like being silly, stressed out or over-reacting. I was one of these people who used to think that I was really stressed out from the problems that life accumulates. It wasn’t until the anxiety and depression took over last year that I got some counselling and then found out that I was indeed struggling with anxiety in many forms.

So what exactly is anxiety?

“Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.”

Having anxiety can be very tough, some days will be better than others. Certain things you will be able to do just like that whereas others you will find that you can’t do because of crippling anxiety. For me personally, my anxiety for the most part is manageable. Through counselling I have learnt how to deal with my anxiety and it comes naturally to me now. Though in some cases, all the techniques I have learnt through counselling go straight out the window when my anxiety gets bad.

I criticize myself a lot and I always want to try my best at everything even if I have never ever done it before. I always assume to myself that I should be able to do this and get anxious when I can’t do it. This is one part of my anxiety that I really struggle with, no matter how much mindfulness I try to follow or however much I tell myself that I should be gentle with myself, I always find myself doing it. Right now, I am trying to learn how to do brush lettering and some calligraphy along with it. I’ve tried numerous of pens and I am still struggling with it. I usually end up giving up because I’ve assumed that I should be good at this and I don’t give myself enough credit. This is what anxiety is like, I get anxious because I’m not able to do it.

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Writing this blog post is hard for me because I want to make sure that I get all the information right and let people know what it’s like coping with anxiety and how it really effects people’s lives. Sometimes you wouldn’t even know that someone is struggling with anxiety because for the most part, people are good at covering it up.

My boyfriend, sister and my best friend both struggle with anxiety as well. Between the four of us, all of our anxiety is different in many ways. My sister struggles with it in certain situations like me. Our family situation is a big anxiety trigger for the both of us. We both really struggle when visiting my dad and my brother. Usually after a visit to my dads, I have great difficulty getting my anxiety under control. I am anxious before I get there as I know what I’m expecting and I’m usually anxious all the way until a day after I get back from there so it’s a long time.

So what does anxiety feel like? What is it like when you are so anxious that you don’t know what’s going on? When you can feel it coming on but you don’t have any way of dealing with it?

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Anxiety feels like your mind is totally clouded over especially when it is very bad. Anxiety for me is having to answer the phone or going to a new place which I have never been to before, visiting my dad, trying new things, change really triggers my anxiety, things going wrong also triggers my anxiety a lot, being late, loud/aggressive environments. There are quite a few triggers for me. For the most part, I can control it but certain triggers really push my limits and I lose all control. When I get anxious, my stomach starts to get fluttery and then a sinking feeling comes along. Usually before this, my heart rate speeds up a bit and my mind goes a bit all over the place. Sometimes when I’m anxious, I’m very quiet or I can be very snappy or moody. It all depends on what has triggered it off. I also tend to speak rapidly when I’m anxious as well because I want to get it all out without messing it up which causes more anxiety. If someone could get inside my head when I’m suffering from anxiety, you would find me talking to myself rapidly as well. I couldn’t tell you what I’m saying because it’s so fast and jumbled that I don’t even understand it myself.

Coping with anxiety can be hard work, some people can get the anxiety under control quite easily whereas other people can’t do that. I have had counselling for some time and still struggle with my anxiety despite using mindfulness and techniques to try and avoid my anxiety getting bad.

When I am anxious, I normally give myself a “pep talk”. If anyone could get inside my head then you’d hear me talking to myself when I’m anxious trying to rationalize that it’s not something bad and that it’s ok to be anxious but I’ve still got to get through it. If my anxiety is pretty bad then I do usually get quiet, I will just try to block out whatever is making me anxious and I do this a lot when visiting my dad as that’s the only way I can cope. I journal a lot now that I have had counselling, writing down whatever is making me anxious always helps me to relax a bit and feel a bit more sane! Talking to a close friend or family member is always another good way to help reduce anxiety. I know my best friend gets the brunt of my anxiety when it’s quite bad as I’ll go straight to her and we’ll talk about it. For me personally, talking about it if you can is a good thing.

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For people suffering with anxiety, people will tell you to take a walk or listen to some music but that doesn’t always work for everyone. I have found the “pep talk” and journaling more helpful than taking a walk as I don’t feel like taking a walk when I’m anxious. I don’t know about anyone else but I struggle to do anything when anxious?!

Anxiety is not something that we should be ashamed of or that we should hide despite most people hiding it without thinking about it. I hope that this helps anyone with anxiety, to know that you aren’t alone and sometimes all the things you read on the internet aren’t real!

If you have any other tips for dealing with anxiety then I’d love to hear about them 🙂

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11 thoughts on “

  1. tigercup says:

    Its really great of you putting so many efforts in writing this although I did realised that writing this would have been difficult for you but I think writing this had made feel a lot better and trust me many people who are suffering from some thing like this will love that someone is reaching out for them

    Liked by 1 person

  2. PLH says:

    This is fantastic. It’s hard for outsiders to understand this because it seems controllable so to speak…”what are you even worried about. Everything is fine calm down”. Well…just no. Thats not how it works and it manifests different in everyone. You nailed a lot of what people dont understand.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sarah x says:

    I’m lou Lou sister. And it’s true anxiety does ru different thank you for publishing it just making me read it has understood. Yes I suffer from #aniexty and for a while I didn’t know how to look after it or myself for that matter if it wasn’t for my sister standing by me I don’t know where I would be. Me and my sister were not that close when we were younger and we kept things from each othwr. And she is one of the people I can talk to her about really anything.
    I read or colour when I am very anxious I also like to listen to music I mean by that is. I just go in my car and I will lock my doors and just listen to my music. I still find it difficult to talk about it but my sister is a great help most of the time :).

    I still feel alone at some times as of what is going on with my family but we will get their as a family. And we will beat #aniexty and not let it get the better of us.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. jobakerxo says:

    Lou, you absolutely nailed this post on anxiety. Here comes the soppy post from your bestie…

    Chatting to you is always a pleasure, never a chore, even when you are feeling anxious or stressed. Even if you were stressed and anxious all day long I’d still enjoy chatting and being there as you are one of the loveliest people I know! You are always thinking of others and planning the best adventures we can go on to put a smile on our faces ☺ You are seriously talented at finding the beauty in things and appreciating the little things in life that people often take for granted. You are infectious…in a good way lol I just wish I could take away your inner critic as it’s a liar xxx

    You always seem to nail everything you do! (I ❤ your brush lettering!) You also hide your anxiety so well in person, as a lot of people do, so it’s refreshing to hear someone open up and talk about it. Makes me wonder how many people are anxious too and we just don’t notice it.

    You have been understanding and immensely supportive since day one about my struggles with anxiety, depression and PTSD which I’m so grateful for. As you know some days I can be the most sociable person in the world and some days the most anti-social so having someone who sticks by me means so much to me.

    You are a star. Love you billions. Keep being you xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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